Monday, October 02, 2006

Flirting With the Slammer

Odd Encounter of the Week: Shoplifter

I was at work shelving dictionaries last week when my trendy, Old Navyish ear piece exploded with the question:

"Should I call the police?"

Seconds later, "Call the police."

Immediately interested, three successive options ran through my mind:

A. Run into the backroom to avoid getting shot.
B. Hurry to the front of the store. Whatever this is could be entertaining to watch. If nothing else, it will break the workday rut.
C. Keep shelving.

Choosing passivity, I comfortably settled into option C and listened to the ensuing earpiece exhortations, trying to figure out what was going on.

Turns out a couple of customers spotted a young fellow in a Lakers jersey trying to shoplift boxed set DVD's from the store. A couple employees were notified and approached the guy at his car. He proceeded to run. My co-workers chased him a bit, but he was fast. Nevertheless, we knew his car and thus, his license plate. One co-worker wanted to tow his car. I thought the trade made sense for us - his truck for a "Sex and the City" boxed set. After all, crime doesn't pay. Plus, it would have created the hilariously awkward moment when he returned to drive home, only to realize his car was gone. What do you do at that point? I don't know, but it's got to be awkward.

We did not tow his car. We didn't need to. He had left his keys sitting in the driver's seat, door unlocked. Criminals are not smart sometimes.

I'm not sure what the ultimate outcome of the situation was, but it provided some entertainment and laughs for me while drowning in Oxford, Merriam Webster, and Larousse. I guess the misnomered thing about this Odd Encounter of the Week was that I never actually encountered the person. That's too bad. I hadn't been in the presence of a thief since high school when shoplifting ranked as the 4th most popular social event behind high school football games, birthday parties, and Bojangles runs.


Jeff said...

Maybe he shoplifted because he was too embarassed to actually purchase the "Sex and the City" boxed set.

Oakley said...

Hahaha that made my Tuesday. Call Dumb Crook News now to all radio stations cause i guarantee you'll win something.

Jenn Pappa said...

I hope whatever girl he was stealing that for dumps him asap. great story haha.

KaTiE said...

From past experience, working in a toy store and then at Blockbuster, the season of thieves has only begun. The holidays make for some interesting, and most times, humorous situations. So, you may be rescued from drowning in the shelving dept. for some more laughs soon.